How many times have you reflected on the past, reliving in your mind the mistakes and moments that crippled you? How do you feel you’ve done enough when you repeatedly bring to memory the things that have made you feel broken?
These questions have been on my mind lately. I’m the type who struggles with forgiveness of self. Who, when has done something wrong, beats himself up over and over again, never satisfied with the progress I’ve made and how far I’ve come.
I expressed these feelings and thoughts with someone recently and they shared a story with me. Earlier on in their life they went through the repentance process and had the same impressions but let it trouble them for years. They had lived active in the church, diligent in their callings and faithful to their covenants. One morning in the temple, nearly twenty years later, she had found herself still pondering on the mistakes of her life when the spirit made clear a message she needed to hear, “Enough Already.”
Sometimes in the application of the atonement we fail to recognize the essential blessing of grace and its purpose. While serving in the first presidency, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught that “the grace of God [is] the divine assistance and endowment of strength by which we grow from the flawed and limited beings we are now into exalted beings of “truth and light, until [we are] glorified in truth and [know] all things.”
The empowering influence of the atonement extends only as far as we allow. Rather than asking if you’ve done enough, approach yourself with the question, “have I changed?” Or “what have I become?”. The evidence of your efforts will be prominent in your development of character, your transformation of self and your ability to choose the harder right.
In reality some things require us to trust; trust the Lord, trust those he has called, and trust ourselves as much as He trusts us.
Have I done enough?
Because our path requires mistakes, sacrifice and the process of becoming. We are never done becoming, but we can take comfort in knowing that worthy does not mean perfect.